Men frequently ask me in my dating skills workshops, “How can I feel more confident when approaching women?” Here are a couple relatively quick and suprising body language tips for raising self-confidence.
Much of the research on “male heterosocial anxiety” (i.e. men feeling afraid to talk to women) focus on the power of thought. You must think positive thoughts in order to project confidence. Sound familiar? It's the siren song of today's cognitive-behavioral and “The Secret”/manifestation culture. While helpful for some, this message can be frustrating for others who have a difficult time actively changing their thoughts. After all, the brain will do what the brain will do. Thankfully, there are other entryways into a confident state of mind. Recent studies have shown that certain physical poses actually raise testosterone, the power hormone, and decrease cortisol, the stress hormone. The result? Posers feel more powerful and willing to take risks.
For those of you looking for a boost of confidence in social and dating situations, consider striking these poses in preparation:
»Rest your feet on a desk and clasp your hands behind your head.
»Lean forward over a table with your arms out. Rest your hands on the table.
»Stand with your head tilted back, chest puffed out and arms in the air.
»Any other pose or movement in which you take up as much space as possible.
If you liked these tips and want to learn more, consider attending one of my monthly dating skills workshops for men, joining my upcoming 8-week dating skills group for men, or working with me one-on-one. In each of these forums, you will learn dating skills, practice relating to women through role-play, and explore thoughts and feelings that may be preventing you from finding a romantic partner.
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